REINVENTION = TIGHTROPE
In a social media post earlier this week I wrote, " Reinvention is like walking a tightrope. You take a deep breath, keep your eyes on your goal and endure the pain of uncertainty trusting you can do it - while knowing the gravity of the risk."
I have to say, this is the trickiest part of my journey - balancing the fear with the promise of that thing which has become bigger than me.
Being vulnerable with the truth of this journey and all it entails while wondering, "How much do I share?"
Questions - they're abundant and all I have is my gut - that knowing which says, "Jump."
They say people who have survived attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge all regretted it the moment their feet left the ground.
I mean no disrespect in this comparison - but I am ending one part of myself to embrace another and there are no guarantees. All of this could blow up in my face and on paper - it would appear it has. I've lost my home, I sent my baby to live with his oldest brother states away and I am homeless.
At a group powwow Saturday one of the classmates from my refinement group asked me why I didn't just go back to Texas where I have family?
My answer? Because while this journey is a painful one - it holds more promise and value than I could have planned or hoped for. So, whether you compare it to walking on a tightrope, gambling with my life or jumping without a net - its a risk I am compelled to take.
I won't lie - I often feel like I am out of my body. Other times it feels like I'm slowly being torn, one limb at a time. But when I sit with my idea - I feel as if I am so aligned with my higher self, my source, all that is good and powerful and I light up.
I know - it's true and crazy all at the same time. Even people who have just met me comment on how radiant I am when I talk about all of "this."
So - like the tightrope walker - I will keep my eyes on the goal as I move with intention through this practice of reinvention. All while repeating Bob Wiley's mantra, " I'm doing the work, I'm baby-stepping, I'm not a slacker!"